Hot stuff

Wow where are the months going…odd I used to wish time away to get to summer…but when you know your on limited time you want everything to slooooooowwww down!.

Summer is nearly upon us but the sun isn’t the only thing to recently be heating up!

Yesterday I went for some radiotherapy.

I’ve been struggling more and more with my right hip…to the point I’m seeking out the closest seat where ever I go….never did I think I’d not want to go shopping but that was my wake up call….one hour walking around town and ending up exhausted because of this dull achy pain in my hip that travelled down my leg.

So I got offered some radiotherapy on my hip and around my pelvis area…so I’ve one hot arse right now ha ha!.

They’ve said the pain will get worse before it gets better…day 1 not to much change just feels a bit funny under deep within the cheek.

I probably should mention since my last blog, I’ve made the massive decision to not continue with my chemotherapy.

I was dipping in energy and just not feeling it…I think when you go into chemotherapy you really do have to go in full on with your mind body and soul…I just wasn’t there…I never thought I’d ever be some one to say I’ve had enough…but hand on heart I need to focus on the quality of my life which I must say we are 1 month off it and I’m feeling a lot better!.

I’m back being a mummy to stan and waking up in the morning to take him to school and still being awake to go and get him!

I’m back cooking tea and actually wanting to cook cake again…my fingers are getting less sore so won’t be long till I get the sewing machine back out!

I’m finding things funny and growing in confidence to head back out on my own again without robs trust worthy hand to support me….amazing how much treatment can take away your confidence in the world.

The only thing with stopping it apart from it being risky, is how easy it is to go into a sense of denial about the entire situation, so I’m making a conscious effort to keep getting support from the hospice and Ive also been referred to an Enhanced support care team in Exeter to make sure we are getting all the help in all areas of my life that we need.

Another big movement in my life is work….a couple of months ago I also made the decision that it was time to admit defeat and take Ill health retirement.

It was such a hard decision, 18.5 years working at petroc they are my family…but I couldn’t for-fill my hours with my health any more and I never did the job for the money so to drop hours wouldn’t have been financially viable.

Although I’ve not worked for many months there, I think knowing it’s officially ended will take some time to get used to, but I am looking forward to seeing what else floats my way in life and also having the time to just go with the flow and perhaps offer some help to other people in some way…who knows…I’ve learnt not to plan!

So that’s my news really…